I'm in a better state of mind now.. i know i'm too emotional during the past few days that why i tend to say things that might have cause discomfort to you.. i did not want to bother your friends..i admit i called 3 of them..that's all.. i never called anyone else.. i know i have irritated you and making you lose face.. i stepped over the boundaries.. i sincerely apologise for what i have done and will never ever repeat it again.. i'm too emotional in the past..

its not the best time to explain everything to you now as you might be angry with me.. let things cool down between us before anything is being said.. there's too much misunderstandings between us right now till we don't even know where should we start from..

I have to be serious in taking care of my health before thinking of anything..i have to love myself first before asking for acceptance from anyone.. i decided to get myself treated by professional if needed for my mild depression and eating disorder.. i will get myself admitted when it is getting serious, as i really want myself to be well mentally and physically.. maybe people out there may think, hey u have depression? u sure not? don't think too much can le.. truth is they does not know the reasons behind..

in the past, i've been letting my illness to take control of me.. which lead me to so many things that is beyond my control.. i will get myself treated to be a brand new person, time will prove the effort that i have put in..

i've cried, i'm sad, i'm down, depress no appetite for food, but right now trust me, i'm really working very hard to fight against all this.. please give me the support.. i know you won't want to see me in the state like this.. i got to be stronger.. i can't make those who really cares for me worrying about me..

i've changed my status back to single as i don't want you to be stressed out from what i'm doing.. i will understand everything you've done and never did i blamed you for anything.. right till now you are still perfect in my eyes.. i'm really grateful for all the wonderful memories you have brought to me, things that you have done that has touched my heart,always there for me when i'm down,dote me and cherish me.. you have never failed to let me down.. this is why i fell deeply in love with you.. i will let you go if you're terrible though its hard for me, if i love you i have to let you go.. i know you're not feeling much better than me as well, after all we're so much in love once and now we're back to square zero.. you have done your best, i have never blame you for anything..
right now what i can do is i willl leave you alone for the time being till you are comfortable then you contact me again..

i can't be there for you anymore, i won't be telling u, dear, wipe yourself very dry when bathe come out, i can't help you dry your hair, giving you slight massage when you're tired,i won't be able to prepare meals for you to work.. don't eat too much unhealthy stuff ,rest early and don't smoke too much.. don'tmwork too much ot and make yourself too tired..