went in to JB today..
went to do mani and pedidure at holiday plaza to pamper myself..
its been more than 8 months since i last went to do my nails outside..
had a sumptuous seafood dinner at the kelong..

thanks joc,edith,ash,jac,desmond,terrence,ruuyou and many others..
i've been much better and i'm enjoying my life cause i know what i'm doing..
i deserve a better life and therfore i will be living happier each day..
thanks for all the support..=)

right now i'm looking forward to the next holiday..
planning to go for batam trip..
i love sea and water sports.. next trip i''ll be filled with activities...

Day 5

it was a very rushed morning, had face massage early in the morning and went back to the hotel to take my luggage and checked out.. rushing to the airport straight.. first time i'm doing all the things on my own.. i feel proud of myself..

took a cab straight from the airport as my hangs were filled with things.. taxi fare was damn ex.. $40..

it was a tiring day, unpacked all my things and getting ready for dinner..
after this trip back i'm damn broke.. anybody want sponsor me the next trip or the rest of my expenses for the month? lol..

gotta settle the rest of my things now.. shall update further more the next time..

Day 4

in the morning went to phi phi island and maya bay.. beautiful scenery but scorching sun..weather was so hot.. had lunch with the rest of the people who are travelling with us.. bought some clothes and sovenier from phi phi island.. the journey to there was 2.5hr of boat journey.

in the evening, went to watch thai boxing.. at first i was very excited about the whole show but after the match 1 round 1 i find it cruel.. why such show isn't prohibited or banned? i look at the young thai boxer which is only less than 12years old.. a kid fighting another kid? its so cruel.. from the young thai boxer eyes i can see that they are forced to work as a thai boxer to support their family.. people there are working at a very young age to support the family.. couldn't bear to watch the rest of the matches especially when the caucasians keep shouting "go go go" whenever someone being defeated..

i thought of videoing and taking photos before the matches but when i see all these happening i couldn't bear to do it..
after thai boxing went back to my hotel, went back to put my things and tour the city alone.. however, it was rather late many shops closed.. get some things from the road side and get back to my hotel as it was rather late.. i'm so proud of myself.. the first time i'm doing things on my own with no one around me..
i'm getting myself independent..

getting addicted.. the next trip i will travel to another country on my own..

it's my day 3 in phuket..
don't know why i can't seem to enjoy myself..
had pizza for lunch today as everything doesn't seems nice..
things here are very expensive and hardly can see any local food..

many things i wanted to do here but somehow i just feel that something is missing..
maybe next trip oversea will be a better one..

i think by now you're attached.. you must have propose to her during valentine's day with all the plans that you have planned.. hope that you will be happier..
even till now we're still not keeping in any contacts, is our friendship really the end? i have never forced you to make any decisions, i will respect you.. if you feel we can't be friends like before again, i will leave.. but i will still treat you as my best friend like before..

i received a good news before departing for my phuket trip on monday, i'm still deciding..
currently still looking for a job, i'm damn broke now..
may the lord filled me with all his blessings and have his plans for me..

i'm on real fire!
yes, you! you are pissing me off..
i'm straight forward and i don't know how to hide my feelings neither am i a hypocrite!

i hate everything that i know and i see..
there's no words to express my feelings now..

i'm sorry to those who saw my nick and ask me and chatted with me on msn... thanks for all the concern.. thanks for bearing my temper and i'm sorry if i did sound harsh.. please bear with me and i'm sure you guys are understanding people..=)

for those who are reading these, if you're just viewing my blog wanting to see how bad my life is right now, just fuck off from this blog and don't try to fake your concern towards me!

after getting through all these days,i can't help but to think negatively at times.. i suppose you will be spending off your valentine's day with her creating surprise to win her heart.. what a joke.. why am i thinking of all these.. because everything in your life is all about her now.. i don't know how close you guys are getting on now but its more than a friend and in fact its in a relationship just that its not open..

after all these i know you will never even think back of us, just let me be the one to bear all the responsibilities, i have no one to blame.. what a joke we're worse off than a stranger now am i right?

from the past i have always accepted my fate.. whenever i start to treasure something i will lose it immediately..
this is what i have to bear.. i guess i'm fated to be alone for the rest of my life..

its been more than two weeks since i last updated my blog..
i'm really touched by some people who have touched my life when i was giving up myself..

i have never thought that i can create an impact in someone life before never did i though little touch could make a difference in others life..
many times you gave up your life, but never did i given up on you, i will still make the effort to visit you almost everyday whenever you're hospitalised, with the gentle touch of saying things to you that touched your life that makes you have the strength to carry on..
you said to me in the past i was a very strong girl, i could overcome anything in my life, i've gone through the darkest period in my life.. this time round i will surely make it through just that there's too many things happening at once that's why i couldn't take it at a go..
when i heard this i teared immediately, cause i have never thought that i can made a impact in your life and you really understand me.. whatever things i've done there's a reason behind it.. you never fail to trust me..
when i told you that i hate my character, i'm too strong and causes many things irrechangeable in my life but you said it's just that they don't understand you.. if i suddenly change to a person who know how to flirt around and know how to win a guys heart than i'm not the person you know..
thanks for always believing and trusting in me and always understand my feeling..
though you are not always there for me nor did we keep in contact often but the bond we had is unbreakable.. thanks for being my friend(ruyou)!

i've gone through death and i will be a blessing to others just like what i am to you in the past..

everything has come to an end, from the moment you chose to give up as you no longer think of the past of the happy days we had.. even the thought of the happiest moment we had will not make you miss nor change the situation..
i know very clearly she's the one in your heart right now, its ok, i will leave like what you have said don't ever come into your life ever again..

its the friendship that we had in the past that i really hate to see it coming to an end, its not easy to build a 7years of friendship.. the thought of it makes me feel terrible.. if only i could turn back time...

my grandma was admitted to the hospital for an operation.. i pray that she will be well like before..