don't say we're friends when we're not..
don't say you care for me when you don't..
don't say when you need someone to accompany you'll be there and you're not there..
don't say its impossible when you're giving up..
don't say you trust me when you don't..
don't avoid me when you say you won't..

STOP hurting me!

i don't know when and how long i need to recover.. it may be as long as till i leave this world.. or i will leave anytime.. by then i'm really tired and have fallen..
no one can ever see my effort on how hard i'm bracing myself getting onto my feets..
no matter how strong i am i will eventually fall..

right now is the time i really need some one to hold me, but you're leaving me in a lurch.. i know things have changed but just treat me like a friend like how you have always treated me as before.. you don't have to avoid me.. i just need suppport as a friend.. is that really difficult? how sad the reality can be when a couple after break off worse then even a friend..

i have always believe in you that why no matter how insecure i am, i have never raise my doubt in you.. all along i have been keeping inside my heart.. where on earth will someone tell their bf, 'dear i feel insecure with you but i trust you, i have lost confidence in myself.. how am i suppose to tell you that day i back out for the buffet is because when i see her i felt inferior.. i felt so zi bei i lose to her in everything... i felt the way she dress and my dressing is so different and i can't be anyway better than her..
i don't deny that at times i will try to do things to gain your attention.. all along even when the moment that i'm feeling insecure and the days i had so much things to shouldered on my own i never tell you..sometimes i don't know how i am suppose to tell you, but i still will try to do things that will please or bring a smile to you.. all this just to hope that it will bring joy to you and you will forget unpleasant things i did to secure your attention.. all i need is just an assurance from you.. it does not need to be something big but simple things like holding my hands when with them, a pooh hug saying 'sa gua' don't anyhow think, a kiss on the lips.. that's it.. that's what i need..

saying all these are just far too late to amend anything.. if only i could turn back time..
i would never be able to forgive myself as all these i realise these too late.. you have sentenced deadth to me..