had a talk with my best friend today..
we haven't been contacting for 1month plus..
i'm really happy for her..
*ruyou, i'm really proud of you..
you have overcome your illness and solve out the differences between you and him.. somethings to tell you, girl, dun be silly, i am really happy for you and i am not angry when i know the both of you are together.. cause you finally come to realise the problem and faced it bravely together with him.. i'm really proud of you.. this journey won't be easy but don't lose hope and hang on to it.. it wasn't an easy journey for the both of you, treasure it.. he's a good guy,despite of your illness, he did not give up on you, he understand you and gave you the support as needed.. its not easy to find someone like him to understand..
we will get well together..*

i've been fighting hard against my illness for long but i will get well.. i want to get myself treated and not bounded by the past.. this illness has been following me for quite some times.. very few people can understand about this illness.. i have friends fighting with me but in the end they give me up cause they don't understand about it.. tempermental change,mood swing heavily,depression,no confidence and irregular eating etc.. are the symptoms of these illness.. they are very hard for us as patients to control and deal with it cause at time we don't even know why we behave this way.. its incontrollable.. some may say for tempermental change is due to our bad temper that we had already, mood swing heavily you can control and eating just eat on time, don't starve or overeat.. but the fact is above all the symptoms: we can't control it ourself and we don't want it to happen this way either, at times we don't even know why we react this way.. people like us have very low confidence in ourself and we are very concern about our figure..

even though people around us may say: huh? you look very thin le.. you sure you still want to lose weight?
but the fact is we still find ourself very fat and we couldn't find any answer for it why we felt it this way.. we often need to find acceptance and approval by others..that's why you can hear us complaining about our weight all the time.. if there's a person coming to us unknowingly saying this to us: "hey, you seem to gain some weight since the last time i saw you".. i can tell you this is a very very very serious and we mind about this alot.. or i should say we mind alot about all the neative feebacks about us.. all these will/somehow will affect normal people and they say that its a casual comment.. but this word to us has deeply hurt
and inrooted in our mind, it can hardly be removed... we will keep pondering this again and again.. unless there's someone holding onto us and make us regain the confidence back..
if we can find the answer how to make us regain our confidence and how to make us this that our weight is normal, we have succeeded in fighting this battle half..

having this illness, i gain and lose some friends.. those who stay will be my real friends and those who chose to leave i have never blame them cause they don't understand about this illness.. i'm posting this because i hope that people who are reading this will get some understanding about this illness and help their friends for fighting this illness and help to get their friends get treated for this illness if they have the syptoms right now..below is a link to this illness..
http://www.something-fishy.org/isf/signssymptoms

TGIF.. have a great weekend tommorrow..